It happens to me every couple of years.  I get totally fed up with life and Albany and people and everything.  These are the moments when I up and decide to run away from home.  It's been probably four years since I've run away and last time I went to visit Girl at her parent's house outside of Detroit.   It was a ludicrous conversation that led to that point, but I could never do it justice in text.

I've been building up for a while - the need to run away, to get the hell outta dodge.  I've been putting it off, but I finally hit the point where I could wait no longer.  So I packed a suitcase full of dirty clothes, put my guitar on my back, picked up a couple of magazines at Barnes and Noble and jumped a Greyhound... 

And proceeded to embark on one of the worst travel experiences of my life.

It started off rather well, all things considered.  When I got to the Greyhound terminal, the line was already insanely long.  The bus was late and the line reached to the entrance of the terminal.  The 5:30 bus *arrived* at 5:50.  We finally got moving at 6:10.  I had a connecting bus to make at 9:00 with a 40 minute layover...  I figured there was a chance that I might still make it.  The bus was crowded, but quiet and the bus driver was a congenial guy and he got us there only 5 minutes after we were originally scheduled (leaving at 5:30) to arrive.

I started feeling good about things at this point, but the drama hadn't even started yet.

I get to Port Authority where I have to transfer to a Newark bus.  The first line I get in is ridiculously long.  Seriously, man, it was hundreds of yards long with people going to Baltimore, the Carolinas, Richmond...  no one seemed to be going to Newark, so I go ahead and find another line for a Newark bus...  this one, though, leaves at 10, as opposed to 9.

So right around 9, some guy comes looking for people for the 9pm Newark bus, of which I am one.  So I grab my opportunity and get on the right bus.  Much to the dismay of all the other passengers, who were told that no one else was going to be let on the bus.  It's just me and one other girl getting on.

So I ask this woman, who is sitting by herself if the seat next to her (holding her purse) is taken.  She IGNORES me.  So I ask again, and this time she GLARES at me.  So I move on and all the people sitting by themselves are sprawled across the seats.  So I find a seat and sit down...  on top of the leg of the woman who WILL NOT FUCKING MOVE OVER.  Now, I'm not a *fat* person, but I am a large woman.  I don't take up any more than a single seat.  The woman next to me is not a large woman, by any stretch of the imagination, but is taking up fully a third of my seat as well as hers.  Which would be bad enough.

And then, I swear to you, she started PLAYING WITH HERSELF!  This OLD lady, sitting next to/on top of/under me is playing with herself.  We're stuck in Jersey traffic that is NOT MOVING and we are going back the exact same fucking way that I just came into the city!  One hour on this bus...  thirty minutes longer than I was supposed to be on it.

Bus ride from hell.

So I get off in Newark and am immediately accosted by a homeless man who wants to carry my bags for money I don't have on me.  I'm cranky, tired, hungry, smelly and PISSED, not necessarily in that order and Girl is running late to meet me.  So I go inside to the only open thing in the station, which is McDonald's (*puke*) and order (*gag*) some food.

She finally gets in and I look at her to say, in probably the most morose voice I have EVER used, "I may never come visit you again."  I tell her my story and she just cracks up.  She thinks it's the funniest thing ever...  I am not amused.

We go back to her house, finish a bottle of Chianti and hit the sack.

The next day we bummed around the house and decided to try to go see a movie...  yeah, I'll spare you the details, but we got lost on NUMEROUS buses, missed the movie, had a crappy dinner and...  ARGH!  It was just frustrating, but I did buy a very cute outfit at Target.

Sunday (today) was mostly fine...  quiet...  relaxing.  I now know why I don't have cable...  it's because I WATCH IT.  I wasted so much time watching television...

Well, at this point, I know, I am NOT taking the bus home and I couldn't catch a ride, so I decided to take Amtrak.

I get lost trying to find the fucking Jersey Transit Station, but get there on time.  Get my Amtrak ticket and the train is delayed by about a half hour.  At some point, for some reason, on the train, my phone decides to stop being a fucking phone and resets whenever anyone tries to call me.  I can still connect to the internet, I can still get text messages, but I cannot make or receive a phone call.