~*Ramblings of Fyre*~


Thursday, January 05, 2006
Romeo and Juliet... or something

It's only fairly recently that I really began to understand the term "star-crossed lovers". 

I have this friend...  well, a couple of them actually, but we'll start with one.

One:  I have this friend, I've known him for a couple of years.  I'm very attracted to him and I always have been.  Funny thing, though, I've never actually met him.  Sure, we've had long discussions and midnight phone conversations, but I've never really seen his face, I've never met him in person. 

If it weren't for the fact that he lives hundreds (a thousand?) miles away from me...  huh...  I thought I knew what I was going to say, but I was wrong.  Take two: I think it's the fact that he lives hundreds (a thousand?) miles away from me that makes us star-crossed.  Not lovers.  We could never span the distance.

Two:  I have this friend.  I haven't known him all that long in the grand scheme of friendships.  We became close really quickly and got ourselves to a point where it often felt like we might as well be dating - and, in fact, people thought we were.

I spent months trying to convince my girls that there was nothing there between us and then, one random night, out of the blue I was smitten with him.  Being the coward that I am, but only when it comes to romance, I never said a word.  I hinted and slipped ideas, but never in a way that he would or maybe could understand.

Then I did something...  and I can't divulge the details, but it wouldn't surprise me if he felt betrayed by what I did, though after months of pining after him in a desperate loneliness, and trying and hoping that he would figure it out as I tried to be bolder and more blatant with each passing moment, I don't think it was actually a betrayal on my part.  So I did something, and I think I might have hurt him...  and I'm pretty sure I've lost him...

Star-crossed again, this time by loneliness.

Three:  I've blogged about Kenyon, who I loved as Matt before he took on his real name, and how we loved each other for years without ever saying a word until he proposed to me as I left the state with the man I would eventually marry...  and eventually leave.  Star-crossed by an unwillingness to break something that was already in existence.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I have shed many tears.  I have written songs for each and every star-crossing.  Tonight I cry again, once for each lover that I never touched in love.

~FG };^>


Posted at 23:04 by FyreGoddess

 

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*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
As destructive as life,
   as healing as death;
An institutioner of strife,
   just as prone to bless.
It is all that is good,
   but with an evil trend;
As it was in the beginning,
   so shall it be the end.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*







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