I guess I wouldn't brush away the idea that I"m being oversensitive.  I don't know, but it really REALLY hurt.  For someone that supportive to hurt me so deeply with what I can only assume was a flippant remark is hard to come to terms with.

I don't let people in easily or often.  There's a short list of less than 10 people who could hurt me the way he did today.  One of the most supportive people on the current journey I've been taking, or at least trying to take, to tell me that he doesn't care about one of the most important moments along this path so far.

I think my heart broke a little.  I know I was crushed.  He made me cry, and that's not something that I let very many have the power over.

The emotional pain was crippling for a while, now it's just a nagging ache.  I hurt so much and I don't know what would make it better.  People tell me that I should say something and, out of respect for him, I probably will, but I will still hurt and I will still wonder if there was any measure of seriousness in the statement that he made.

It could be a flippant comment that fell totally flat, it could be a case of misplaced anger, it could be a case of...  heh, something I don't think I'm comfortable revealing, but something suggested by someone else.

Maybe if I wasn't all wrapped up in that four-letter word that I still mostly choke on I wouldn't be so wounded.  Maybe if I saw any hint of a smile or a glint in his eyes, it wouldn't have stabbed so deep.

But maybes don't make it happen.

He made me cry.  That's hard for me to forgive, especially when it's something so important.

~FG };`^<