I nailed it! At least, I say that without actually having seen the video. I felt good about last week's performance as well, and then painfully suffered through myself on Tuesday when I watched and listened to how flat I actually was. For now, though, having not seen the video, I feel like I nailed it!
Finally, I am a fixture at the Lark Tavern. People know me by face, by voice, by name... and they approach me as often as I approach them. It's a pretty cool thing, I think. It's nice to have finally gotten to that point.
My Guitar Buddy has pulled some strings or just said the right (?) words to the right people and as of tomorrow we're going to be plugged on the radio. This will be the third time we perform together and we're still only attempting the open mic at the Lark Tavern, but apparently the listening audience of a classic rock station will be listening to us being plugged. I have mixed feelings about this. We're going to have to put a lot more time into this week than we have past weeks, but I think we'll do ok. I'm a little concerned that there could be a much larger crowd than I'm accustomed to, but I think we can pull it off.
On other topics, I'm reevaluating. I'm pretty confused by the behavior of someone I *thought* was a good friend. When your other friends say, "You know, he seems like a good guy, but he sure does act like an asshole
to you," it indicates something I can't put my finger on. The worst part is that they're right. He really is acting like an asshole and treating me crappy. It's an overall thing and I don't understand what's causing it.
He's changed and I don't know why. I also don't think he's at all aware of how he's changed, at least in his behavior toward me. It makes me feel a whole lot of different emotions. It makes me sad, it makes me worry for our friendship, it makes me worry for him, it makes me wonder what's actually going on... it makes me think in circles and loops... I really hate that shit, you know?
But Girl is coming up this weekend for a couple of days of shoe shopping, drinkin' and playin' cards. I know, sounds lame, but after the past couple of rock n' roller weekends... and weekdays, I need something a little tamer, a little more relaxing. I need a break, I really do, but everything is so exciting I wouldn't want to stop it. And the stuff that's not exciting, that stuff's not going to go away because I choose to spend a night staying in... quite frankly, if not for the distraction of my best friend coming to visit, a night in would likely make it worse.
I just want to shut off my thoughts... I wrote a song about that once. I wish I could remember any of it.
~FG };^>
