GENERATION X

Sounds so blah. Doesn't it? It's no wonder why most of our generation is so damned apathetic. But it's bigger than that.

We are the generation stuck between the "Save the World" 80's and the "Lookin' out for Number 1" 90's. We were the first exposed to the opening of closets and people loud and proud about their sexual orientation. We have been bombarded with information that all previous generations wish they knew at our age.. so make sure to forcefeed the next generations!
We have witnessed the fall of televised christianity. And then people wonder why we are more apt to follow non traditional religions. He have been burnt out before we even got a chance to try.

We are the information age. We are the generation if instant gratification. If it can't be done in five minutes, we don't want it. It's like I try to explain to my hubby... he is a conventioal oven, I am a microwave. He is slow, and deliberate and patient. I need to have it done yesterday, and I have very limited patients that is usually reserved only for my children. We have seen the aspects of war that most people cringe, and to us, it is no big deal. We live in the age medical miracles. We know that if we go into the hospital for a major surgery, we are going to wake up in a few hours and be fine. We have become numb to most, if not all sorts of violence. It is shoved in our faces every day. It doesn't matter if we want it or not, it's there.

We have been pushed and pulled in all directions by the folks who "know what is the best" for us. We haven't really been allowed to make our own mistakes and learn from them. So you wonder why we are so immature about certain aspects of life. You wonder why we make so much noise, but do so little about it. You wonder why we don't want to grow up and why most of us refuse to.


I am not making excuses for anyone, especialy not myself. I do not make excuses for myself, nor do I appologize when I know I am right. I am just trying to make my voice heard. Are my words falling on deaf ears? I hope not.


Me too, Belit.  Making your voice heard is so important for people of our generation and yet it's something we don't do nearly enough of.  The defining points in our upbringing and in our childhoods were watching the radicals of the previous generation sell-out and focus on money.  We watched the Challenger explode and the space program (or at least the public interest in it) peter out.  We learned from the children of the 60's that even with the best intentions, you cannot change the world, at least not for the better, and even if you succeed a little bit, not for very long.  We learned from our parents that they would fall into the same lines of thinking as their parents did, judging our music and hairstyles and clothing styles harshly and we learned that when we became parents we would do the same things.

We watched as AIDS was discovered and named and we watched a child of our generation, Ryan White, die from this virtually unknown disease.  We listened in our classrooms as our teachers explained the importance of condom usage and then watched on the news as the politicians explained to our parents that easy access to such important things was inappropriate for people too young or too self-conscious to go to a drug store and buy them.

We watched as our peers attempted suicide in numbers that infected pop culture and made the news.  We watched our peers become teen mothers in greater numbers.  There was still shame, but less stigma.  No longer were these young women sent away, they remained in our classes with us and then disappeared to have/raise the baby.  We watched as our parents divorced with alarming frequency.

We watched as the world changed drastically around us, through no doing of our own.  We heard stories of the changes directly affected by our parents, but, as far as I can tell, we didn't reap any benefits from that. 

We are MTV, we are cable, we are cordless phones and pagers, we are early computers.  What defines our generation is nothing we've actually done, but the things that were done around us, as Belit states, at a rapid pace.  Things changed faster than our parents could keep up, but we could, and we did, but we did nothing to create it or to even coax it, we were always just along for the ride.

We learned that everything has to be newer, better, faster, NOW and, for the most part, we are often impatient over everything.  So much changed in our world as we grew and now that we are grown we have come to expect that these things will, no, should still be changing at the pace we choose.

We take things for granted that should shock us, but we take them in stride.  We are jaded and bitter, but accepting.  We all know that we won't likely see a dime of our hard-earned Social Security, but we've known that for a while.  We will care for the larger number of people in the previous generation, but we do not expect that the generation behind us will do the same for us...  I think most of us doubt that it would ever even cross their minds.

We are a small generation of watchers.  We grew up hearing that one day we would run the world, and maybe we will, but we won't do it alone, and we will still be the minority.  We gather wisdom from witnessing and judging that which goes on around us.  It's not that we're apathetic, it's that we're powerless, and even if we're not, we've been made to feel so, simply because we have had NO SAY in the changes in the world for as long as we've been around.

So we accept things.  We watch things going on around us.  We pay attention to the world and do what little we can to feel like we're contributing, but what we're really doing is watching.

We are the babysitters.  We will tell anyone who is willing to listen exactly what's going on and why.  We accept that no one will listen and that our hands are tied, but we will continue to talk about it until it makes some difference.

In some ways I feel like we're the ones who really know what's going on.  For good or bad, for conservative or liberal, for peace or war, we're watching.

Isn't that nice to know?

Doesn't that make you paranoid?

~FG };^>

Another thing yesterday was that I got a whole lot of interesting information from someone in the know.  I would never betray a confidence like that in such a public (potentially) forum as this, but let's just say that after riding home on Tuesday I feel very good about my career choice and my professional development.  If I thought it was accurate to say he stroked my ego, I would admit that, but the reality is that I was stunned by some of the things that he said to me, though the people who know me best (and don't know me as a worker or within my career) were not at all surprised at the positive reinforcement I got just from doing what I do and being who I am.

I can say with certainty that I learned a LOT that day...  I just can't say a word about it.

Three more days to my contest...  preoccupied with fantasies of the *sigh* crush, spending time with him and plans that I will probably never actually follow through on...  writing a lot of songs these days, GOOD songs.  I don't know where the inspiration is coming from, but I don't question it.

~FG };^>

******

Maybe it's just me, but these words always rub me the wrong way.  I hear them said to others and I roll my eyes, but when they are directed at me I usually launch into a tirade about why not to use those words to me, or really at all if you can possibly avoid it.

Don't get me wrong, I'm willing to commit to a whole heck of a lot of things and, for the most part, my loyalty to those things knows no bounds, but I refuse to commit to forever or to make promises that I know are potentially going to hurt someone if they get broken.

Don't make me promises.  Don't tell me forever (for good or bad, for never or always).  And if you've hurt me, just see to it that it doesn't happen again.

Meaningless words will only serve to drive me further away.

~FG };^>