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Saturday, June 25, 2005
I remember, when I was about 3 or 4 years old having what I felt was a very important conversation with my mother. "How can people say that you should never talk to strangers? If you never talk to strangers, you'll never make ANY friends at all." This led my mother to discuss with me what makes a person safe to talk to and how to feel out most situations and decide which strangers were ok to talk to and which ones to avoid.
While I do talk to strangers, I keep myself pretty safe overall.
One of the things that I taught my son when he was very little was how to find a safe person in an emergency situation. "If you get lost or separated from me or your father, the best thing to do is to find a mother with other children and tell her you are lost. She will most likely help you out." (Uniformed police, etc. are not overly common in my area and uniforms are an easy way to manipulate and trick people. It's harder to fake caring for children.)
Anyway, I was reading an article about that Boy Scout and it struck me that one of the things that made this worse than it needed to be was his parents ingraining the scare tactic of "NEVER talk to strangers" instead of taking the time to teach him how to keep himself safe in most situations.
"Some clues to what led to Brennan's four-day odyssey have emerged, though the boy has revealed few details: Factors include his partner's failure to follow a key Scout rule to always look out for your buddy, a wrong turn Brennan took in the woods and the boy's strict adherence to parental advice to avoid strangers _ in this case rescue workers.
<snip...>
The boy said he kept two thoughts in mind, both of them instructions from his parents: Never leave a trail and never talk to strangers. So, when people on horseback appeared on his trail Tuesday, Brennan pulled off the path and out of view until they passed."
I hope that people will take something away from this. I hope that the lesson here that scare tactics are just as dangerous as not teaching your children anything at all. Don't get me wrong, I understand that people want to shelter and keep their children safe, but isn't TEACHING them how to take care of themselves the best form of long-term safety that there is?
~FG };^>
Posted at 23:47 by FyreGoddess
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Gossip though I may be, I can keep secrets pretty well. My other gossipy friends understand the rules when it comes to secrets. There are a couple people in my circle who hear most everything unless it comes along with "Do not tell anyone, not even [insert person's name]". Non-gossips will generally add that "don't tell anyone" and I always respect that.
I don't even necessarily need the don't tell to understand when a secret is really a secret... and some secrets are kept from *everyone*, regardless of whether they know the person or are safe. Some things are too private to ever be disclosed, even in "this friend of mine" vagaries. I have a lot of respect for secrets... well, the secrets of other people, anyway.
My own secrets are a totally different story.
Things that I consider secrets stay with me for a long, long time. I don't tell *anyone* the things that I consider "secrets" when they pertain to me. As a result, they build up forever, bubbling, longing to be told, to be heard. When I finally do start telling them, I tell them to everyone, starting off with "can you keep a secret?" and hoping against hope that they won't tell anyone else before I have a chance to.
Don't get me wrong, I am selective about my secrets. I don't tell just anyone the things I consider secrets (regardless of how petty they may turn out to be). I am careful about who I trust with the things I don't want to just get out and free in the wild, but once I get to the point of not being able to keep them in anymore, I usually tell anywhere from 5-10 people.
I don't understand why I can't be as careful about my own secrets as I am with others'.
~FG };^>
Posted at 23:41 by FyreGoddess
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I apologize for how vague this is going to be. There are several important reasons that it *needs* to be vague, none of which I intend to disclose to the internet at large. "She" is not one person, but rather several people who have said various things to me that I need to decompress.
She says he crushes me whether I like it or not. She says that I am in denial for not believing it, regardless of what my reasons for not believing her are. She says I should find out, even if finding out either way could jeopardize our friendship. She says that I'm being blind or silly (in so many words) and I might as well pursue this, though I have little to no interest.
She says the other one crushes me, too. She says it's obvious that he does, though I have convinced myself it simply isn't true, if for no other reason than to keep myself safe from heartbreak and disappointment. She says that I am silly for not taking care of these things and putting my heart and sanity on the line.
She says that I need to be more aggressive. As if I weren't aggressive and assertive enough anyway. She says I need to go after the things I want regardless of the consequences. She says I should throw caution to the wind. Personally, I think this is a very bad idea.
She says that I should just give up on certain things. She says it's not worth the time or effort that I'm investing in things. She may be right, but it's not that simple for me. In fact, it's not exactly a choice that I've made. She says "It's just not worth it" and she may be right... but that doesn't make it easy to deal with.
She says I need to turn my thoughts off. She says "Stop thinking about it." as if that's somehow possible for me to do. She says it's possible, but when she says that all I can think is that she really has no idea how my mind works and that maybe, just maybe, she's not as smart as I am... or perhaps it's not about how smart you are, but the ways in which your intellect works. She says "You should" and I think "Ha! I wish!"
She tells me things She thinks I need to hear. She tells me things I know I need to hear. She tells me things I can or cannot believe, but She always tells me these things with love.
And that's why I love Her. This is what makes Her such a good friend to me.
So always, Thank You. And sometimes... SHUT UP! (kidding... sort of...)
~FG };^>
Posted at 14:57 by FyreGoddess
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I intended to write Thursday, but never actually had any time to do so. Not that that's a bad thing, since I was productive and then went out, but that was a much needed distraction.
This was the early part of the evening:
I get home and Liz calls. As I'm on the phone with her the doorbell rings, Allison coming over to see the new (still mostly empty apartment). Hang up with her, toss the phone and take Allison to the new place... she properly fawns over it. She leaves and my "one hour of moving" clock starts ticking. One box moving (as in, pack a box, move it over and unpack) for an hour, after which I am EXHAUSTED. Reward myself with a shower, then Awesome Mike calls to confirm plans for going out. Hang up the phone and the doorbell rings. Chaos and Dad are here to visit. Hang with them while I try to burn CDs (and successfully only accomplish one of the two). Pull the burned CD out of the drive as Mike is telling me he's pulling up and run out to his car. I think that was the first time I was able to stop since arriving home.
Wonderful dinner, then off to the bar. Turns out *someone* (*pointed glare*) Googled me to find my blog... and read the whole thing. *Someone* knows my secrets... but that's ok, they were secrets I had offered to tell anyway. I like to think they're safe. If my guess is right, he is like me in the fact that other people's secrets are safe, but my own are the ones hardest for me to keep... I may never know if that's the case, but it makes me feel better about my own failings when it comes to my own secrets (ha! hence the blog, eh?)
******Time for random ramblings once again******
I've been invited to go with the girls down to New Orleans in January or February. They are *not* taking no for an answer. So, alas, I think I'm going to have to go (*melodramatic gesture*). The offer to feel up one of the girls is not (though I know she likes to think it is) the deciding factor here. I'm not all that interested in feeling up one of my good girlfriends (or I probably would have done it long before now with someone - heh).
Today was the Spawn's last day of school for the summer. I was looking forward to hearing about the last day, spending time with him and making him move, but as it stands, he got invited last-minute to an overnight end-of-the-school-year party with a friend. How can a mom like me say no to that? Come on, I've been known to drop everything to book town or just have a night of barhopping. I would say no to the barhopping, since the boy IS only 11, but an overnight party at camp. OF COURSE he can go.
But he has to go NOW. The voice mail comes and the return call to Spawn's friend's mother and she'll be there in 10 minutes to pick him up. If I can get ahold of him ahead of time, he should be packed (swim trunks and a change of clothes) and ready to walk out the door, to return tomorrow morning. Only problem is, I have no land line at my house, and he didn't reply to the email, so there's no way for me to know if he went or not until *after* I get home from work... he did go.
This is what makes life fun, though. And since I know he's safe, I'm going to say that this is what makes parenting fun for me. Being able to say yes to silly fun things like this. If I want him to be comfortable doing the adventurous spur-of-the-moment things like this as an adult, I feel it is my duty to allow him to do them as a kid. At least, I think so.
You know, it's been less than two months since I put up the hit counter on this site (though I've been blogging for longer than that) and I've already got over 100 hits. I have no idea who is reading this thing. I can count 3-5 people I know for sure read it, but I doubt they've come 20+ times a piece to view it. Who are these people... more importantly, are they people I know? At least some people comment or talk to me directly about it... I know my secrets are safe with them, but I seriously wonder how many people are reading it just to get the dirt or the blackmail-worthy dish, depending on the situation.
*taps on monitor*
I want to know who's out there - at least if I already know you.
~FG };^>
Posted at 12:38 by FyreGoddess
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Wednesday, June 22, 2005
I didn't *actually* wind up moving anything yesterday. Probably that was a smart thing, but I'm starting to feel the pressure weigh on me. I have a LOT to move and not nearly as much time as it feels like.
The apartment is almost clean and, as I start to slowly move the non-essentials over and change things around, I'm starting to realize that my planned layout may not work *quite* as well as I had hoped. That's fine, though, I am far too tired to actually stress over minor things like figuring out what goes where.
Two flights of stairs, many boxes of books, heat and bad knees. This just makes me TIRED. Oh gods, so tired. FyreSpawn and I worked ourselves sweaty and exhausted, but I don't feel like we got all that much done. There is so much more to do. I must attempt to recruit strapping young (or whatever) boys (or girls, but probably I'll have better luck with boys).
I've got my stepfather's truck on Sunday, so hopefully I can get Chaos to help me move the stuff from Mom's house... get it the hell out of her basement and regain access to boxes of books and to things I never should have taken for granted.
Right now, though, all I can think about is how comfortable my bed looks, how much I want to shower and how the bathtub is calling my name... "Fyyyyyyyyrrrreeee.... fyyyyyyyyyyyrrrrrreee...." Oh yeah, let me wash off some of the aftermath of what I already did.
Posted at 20:54 by FyreGoddess
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Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Murray says I should Blog It.
...and maybe he's right.
So I'm moving to a bigger apartment. Staying in my neighborhood, keeping my landlords, but getting the bigger (and better) place. I have 10 days to move everything I've accumulated in the past 5 years and get all my crap out of Mom's basement. I got the keys on Sunday and didn't do a DAMNED thing.
Yesterday FyreSpawn got to see the place and fell in love with it. He's so excited about the concept of having sleepovers (now that there's enough room), having a BIG bedroom and being able to have parties (again with the room). We moved several non-essentially boxes and bins to the new place, but we are quite limited in that there's still a good bit on cleaning that needs to happen. This means that the kitchen and dining room are off limits, so all I can really move at the moment are boxes of books and the bookshelves.
The cable people won't come until NEXT Thursday, so even if we move the beds, dressers and electronics, all my internet access is going to be at the old place.
Ugh. As easy a move as this is, it's a real pain in the ass.
My goal for tonight is to pack/unpack at least 2-3 bookcases to the new place and still be in reasonable enough shape to go bowling with the Unix team.
HA! I am an idiot.
More to come...
~FG };^>
Posted at 14:42 by FyreGoddess
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Monday, June 13, 2005
And Baby, Baby, Baby do you like it?
I went through three flowers today, all in my hair, one at a time. The heat still hasn't broken, so as each flower wilted, I had to replace it with another one. I was fully prepared for the mocking I assumed would ensue, but the flower was so subtle that few noticed it and even the teasing was in good fun and sport.
I apparently made a mistake in sharing the upcoming open mic at work with someone. She's probably going to send out an email in the hopes of getting people to come to support me. I'm somewhat embarrassed by the prospect, but also rather happy. This way no one can say to me "I didn't know this was happening" and maybe, just maybe there will be friendly, familiar faces for me to look at while I perform, and shelter to take when I'm finished and become a bundle of nerves.
I really need to practice.
~FG };^>
Posted at 22:18 by FyreGoddess
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Sunday, June 12, 2005
Typhoid Murray gave me the creeping death. It's that time of the month. To top everything off, it's a fucking heatwave with more humidity than I thought was possible without rain.
Ugh.
The approaching week should bring good things. I should be getting the apartment next weekend, so I can start to move in and the open mic at work will be an interesting endeavor (though I have a feeling *everyone* is blowing me off for that one :( sad... Stupid plans.)
Feeling like a slacker for not writing, but sick and hot and tired does not make for good motivation on the blogging front.
~FG };^>
Posted at 23:03 by FyreGoddess
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Saturday, June 04, 2005
Well, usually I'm more inclined to write several postings and put them all up on one day, but this week has been rather eventful and instead of trying to segregate topics that have run together in my mind and circumstantially overlapped, I'm going to just do a recap and try to break it down by day.
Bear with me. Following you get a day by day with the titles I would have otherwise used, if I had created individual entries.
Memorial Day Weekend, or Shoot the Cat and Kill the Fish
Last weekend my landlord and landlady went out of town. What this means for me is that I am tasked with the daunting responsibility of giving their diabetic, arthritic cat hypodermic shots of insulin. Apparently, I am the only one brave enough to do this, so I do. Thankfully they pay me (or deduct it off my rent, either way, I am compensated for this task). I also feed all three cats and their (then) four fish.
The unfortunate part of all of this was that the large fish, the old fish, the one that Lynne is most attached to, was dying and had been sick for quite a while, so I found a note attached explaining, in detail, what I was to do with this fish in the event that he did die.
Well, all was fine until Sunday night, when I found the fish floating in the tank, near the bottom with its back end flopped over. I assumed the fish was dead and stuck, so I thrust the net (and my hand, that tank is big) into the water to try to snag the fish. It seized when I tried to net it and I realized that maybe, just maybe, the fish was not, in fact, dead yet. When I looked, however, the fish was still floating in the same manner and not moving at all.
Now, at this point, I had to draw on my knowledge of death and, in this situation, I called upon my favorite movie from my childhood, Stand By Me. One thing I learned from that movie is that when you find a dead body, the appropriate response is to poke it with a stick. I didn't have a stick, though, and that's kind of funky when you think about it, so I poked the fish with the net... several times. Finally (and I don't know, but maybe the poking acted as CPR), the fish started breathing visibly. I apologized to the other fish in the tank and left knowing that the big fish was not going to make it through the night.
I came back the next morning to find the fish still in the same spot, in about the same situation, so again, I poked the fish. This time when I poked it, it floated to the top of the tank so I could fish it out, wrap it in several layers of plastic and put it in the freezer.
RIP Apollo. You are, so far as I can gather, the third death to affect me in May. I am much less on edge knowing that the three has been satisfied.
Tuesday, or He's a bastard... or not
I thought that we had plans over the weekend. With the open mic looming in the very near future, I was starting to worry that my songs had only been heard by family members (and one phone concert). Though I had initially wanted help picking out which songs to play, I had worked that part out. Having thought the plans were for the weekend, having thought that, once again, I was blown off, I was ready to flip out and be the FyreGoddess in a tempered rage.
Imagine my surprise and disarmament when it was explained to me that there was miscommunication and we were, in fact, on for tonight. I offered an out, which was brushed aside and spent a fun and eventful day at work.
That evening, I cleaned the house and prepared for company.
(A side note that ties in later... I also returned the key to the now-returned landlord/lady and we had a discussion about how much I wanted the three bedroom flat two doors up the street from me that I have been pining over for YEARS. This will be explained, but I think that Fate was listening in... as she is prone to do from time to time.)
The plans were set earlier in the day for around 8pm, which came and went, but I wasn't too concerned, people run late all the time. I had offered the out which was not taken, so how could this be yet another instance of being blown off? Around 8:45 I decided to nap. Woke up at 9:15 and now was convinced that this was ridiculous. People do not treat other people this way and goddammit, this is unacceptable. Drunken Liz is excellent to vent to, but not so good for voice of reason advice. Instead of going to bed, I had some food, another glass of wine and attempted to watch a movie.
The phone rang around 11:15. It was (now termed, by Liz) "The Bastard" calling to apologize for forgetting about me (oh come on now, how is this even possible???) and to say that he was on his way. He came by near to midnight and stayed until after 1. I felt better about the upcoming open mic.
Needless to say I did not finish watching the movie which has been sitting on my DVD player for over a month now and should really go back to Netflix.
That night, I got 4 hours of sleep. Ugh. But I'm a big girl, I can party ok, this is not tragic.
Wednesday, or Why I need to fix the pickup
Mostly an uneventful day at work. I invited the people I considered most likely to come to the Open Mic, to the open mic and spent the day wishing I could play my guitar all day long. I tried, after getting home, to stay away from the strings so I didn't blister up before a performance and succeeded as well as can be expected, making sure to tune and practice before heading out the door. I got there earlyish and signed up for later than I realized.
Happy surprise to find that Mother Judge was hosting the open mic. This is someone I have known for probably 20 years, who was a second mother to my brother and has been a wonderful friend to me. I thought that she had stopped hosting the open mics at this particular bar and she had, until about two weeks ago. Brilliant! So comforting and soothing to have this level of familiarity available to me.
What few friends actually made it there (not for lack of trying, I will give that up), made it before I went onstage, which was good. They all did Courage with me, a tradition I have had for just about as long as I've been going to open mics, which is impressive since so few people in this world can stomach Jagermeister. I'll say about this crowd at least (though it doesn't apply across the board) my friends ROCK.
So the pickup in my guitar is broken and has been for as long as this guitar has been in my possession. As a result, since I didn't want to play with (*gasp*) someone else's guitar, I wound up having to mic my guitar. This was not a problem, Caroline said that we were good and the sound was as well.
I should rephrase. This was not a problem for the audience. It was, however, a problem for me. The monitors were such utter CRAP that I could not hear my guitar. At all. I could, however, hear my vocals, which would be fine if I hadn't spend the entire time I was onstage wondering if I was singing in the right key.
Convinced that I sounded horrible and rather embarrassed if that was the case, I ran offstage and back to the comfort of my little safe band of friends... who were properly supportive and enthusiastic. Caroline said "Give it up for FyreGoddess" and then... I can't even begin to describe how much this next part means to me... told the crowd that I sounded amazingly like my mother.
In my mind, in my life, when it comes to music, there is NO HIGHER COMPLIMENT than the one I was given in that moment. I was lauded by my friends for my voice, my range and my songwriting, but coming from Mother Judge, who knows and has performed with my classically trained mother... Words simply cannot convey it. I am still melting over that.
We stayed at the bar until a little after 2, just hanging out and chatting about everything. It was GREAT. My buddies decided to grab some pizza, but I had a longer walk in the opposite direction as them and so decided to head on home.
I was accosted shortly down the street by an old man asking me what I played, what instrument was on my back (you mean the instrument in my guitar case? Yeah, it's a fucking fiddle). I hate this question, it's always so contrived. So I told him it was a guitar and he asked me if I could tell he was a musician too... a drummer (yeah, I could tell by the fact that you're not carrying your drumsticks??? WTF???). He proceeds to tell me that it's his birthday and I wish him a happy one. He just turned 50.
Then...
"Can I tell you something? I'm not usually attracted to caucasian women, but there's something about you. You have a beautiful smile. There's just something about you. I just want to lick you."
At this point, I attempt to make a rapid getaway. As I'm speed walking down the street, he shout after me "Just your big toe! Let me lick your big toe!"
The worst part about this whole thing is not that it happened, but the fact that similar things happen to me all the time. And people wonder why I don't like walking home by myself.
Maybe I am brave, afterall.
That night I got three hours of sleep. Ugh. This is getting ridiculous.
Thursday day, or Folk is Folk
We went to work late. Thank the gods for that. The extra half-hour or so must have made a difference, though I was still dragging ass. The day was mostly uneventful at work until the afternoon. Jason had told me about an open mic being held there in two weeks, so I called the organizer to sign up. Of course, over the wall, they heard me signing up and after catcalling me for not having specifically invited them to the open mic the night before, they proceeded to sing Puff the Magic Dragon and If I Had A Hammer as loudly and off-key as they could. (If you actually clicked those links, I will not apologize, you still have no concept of what I, personally, was subjected to, but you're closer than you are if you didn't.)
I explained that not only was that not the type of folk music I played, if I were to play it I would ROCK IT OUT, at which point I was subjected to a hard-rock version of Puff. Good grief, I don't like being a target for this crap. They ask me "Well, what do you play then?" and I make the mistake of saying "Ask Murray."
Because ( fuck you, Murray), he decides to tell them that I did a kickass rendition of Kumbaya at the open mic that night. At this point, I decide to make my exit and go for a smoke with a couple of friends in the office... one of whom attempted to come to the performance and had come the evening prior to help me get ready.
He, being the smartass he is, asks me "Why didn't you play me the songs you actually performed? I didn't get to hear Kumbaya." And, after several further smartass comments decides it would be a GOOD IDEA to sing Kumbaya in the hallway at work, which later elicits comments to me of "Was that you singing earlier?" From numerous people.
Yeah, and these are the friends who DON'T suck. Pity me.
Thursday night, or Poke me with a sharp stick
Mike and I decided to see Crash at the Spectrum after a conversation at the open mic the night before. Now, I had decided to NOT see this movie after reading the Filthy Critic's review, passed on to me by Murray, but after Lauren's recommendation (coupled with many drinks and a shared love of all things Card), I reconsidered. Another factor in this is that Mike is an excellent movie buddy, something I have found to be rare these days.
Since we had both been up obscenely late the night before, we determined that we were going to take turns poking each other with a sharp stick to wake the other one up as we passed out in a darkened movie theater. This was not necessary, since the movie was thoroughly engrossing and rather woke us both up from our sleep-deprivation-induced comas.
That review is utter crap. It was an excellent movie. I laughed, I was horrified and my cake was damned good. Reminded me of Robert Altman, whose tedium I enjoy... only it was shorter... and less tedious. I highly recommend this movie, but I warn you, if you see it, the laughter is awkward, and almost feels guilty and inappropriate. Racial tensions is a difficult subject to tackle, but this was done with tact, humor and a grain of salt.
Sushi for dinner and another late (but not overly late) night.
I'm sleeping, but I'm starting to have a rough time of it.
Friday, or Fate works in mysterious ways
More mocking. More Kumbaya (and again, I say fuck you, Murray). Work was work and I got home WAY late. But, and I had no idea this was coming, the best was yet to come.
I think this is the best news I have gotten ALL YEAR. The three-bedroom flat with hardwood floors and a walk-in closet has FINALLY come available! And I am next in line! I move in in two weeks and I will have two weeks after that to accomplish this.
It's all very exciting.
Conclusion
So there you have it, the week in review. I'm sure you voyeurs will forgive me for not writing other entries this week since I have had no time, no sleep and ridiculous amounts of non-motivation in terms of the internet.
Don't expect this to happen often, since it took me several hours to download (so to speak) the entire drama of a week, but it's been therapeutic. Lesson learned from the post several back, hit the "Save Draft" button as often as you can.
If you made it this far, my dears, you are more patient than I am... at least you are if you did it in one sitting.
Now I'm off to find someone... anyone to celebrate with!
~FG };^>
Posted at 19:00 by FyreGoddess
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Sunday, May 29, 2005
I've been thinking about the mainstream these days and I've come to a conclusion. It is my belief that television serves to attempt to define normal to mainstream America, while movies try to spotlight that which is deemed unusual.
I was never really able to relate to much on television. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the shows that I watched, but never were they something that I could say "Yeah, I've been there". Even movies, though, spotlighting those unusual people and unusual situations were few and far between that I could directly relate to.
I went to see Off the Map this weekend. I told my mother that I like movies about kids with unique upbringings and this one certainly fit the bill. While I wasn't raised in New Mexico or on a farm, the similarities between Bo's young life and mine were rife and obvious. I found myself smiling and the early image in the movie of Bo, living with free spirit parents who had no money, reading Forbes magazine. I, personally, used to watch the stock reports. When you grow up without money, you want to know as much about it as you can.
The behaviors and situations in the movie were very close to my memories and I find myself nostalgic since seeing it. The review I read essentially panned the movie and as I read it, I found myself wondering if this woman was raised in a stable neighborhood, went to public school, had all the things kids take for granted like a television, an allowance, a brand new bicycle on Christmas morning. These experiences are the sorts of things that most people assume just happen, but I can tell you from experience that there are more of us who were raised like Bo (or something similar) than anyone actually realizes.
You have to understand, I was raised in a VW bus by travelling street musicians. At least, that's the summation that I've come to embrace. Hippies... no, free spirits who helped to foster my imagination, a father who hitchhiked to work and a mother who preferred herbal remedies and never (to my memory) *bought* a birthday cake from the store.
Do you pity the idea that much of my childhood was uninfluenced by television? That the box was thrown out on a regular basis? Don't. I met people and had experiences that others can't even conceive of happening to someone as young as I was. My imagination was cultivated and encouraged so that I didn't NEED preformed images or the stylings of someone else's amusement.
I learned things before I was 8 years old that some people don't learn until their 30's or later. I knew things that have since become cultural icons to my generation, well before it was time for them to enter the spotlight. I was shunned and outcast as a teenager until people realized that I already was what they wanted to become - my own person. As an adult, now, I am often mocked and teased, but it's done in a friendly loving manner (most of the time anyway, rarely with malicious intent), and I can see that people appreciate hearing the stories of someone whose upbringing, whose life they can't even really conceive of.
For the most part, these are not even things that they cover in movies.
So I find myself looking for... not validation, but perhaps looking for empathy, looking for those others who are off the radar, who know the difficulty of taking the amazing childhood and the unique upbringing and becoming a sane, whole, healthy person. Maybe sometimes even one who is more whole, more sane, than those who are repressed like they were trained to be and deny themselves the joy of being fully their own person, whatever that may mean.
~FG };^>
Posted at 11:52 by FyreGoddess
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