... proving the idea that sometimes, size does matter.  At least when it comes to candy.

Boys are stupid.  That is part of why girls are mean.

I think there should be a rule that if you're getting on the bus and paying with change, EVERYONE ELSE gets to go in front of you.  Seriously, it will take all of the rest of us (with cards and dollars) less time to get on the bus than it will take you and your handful of nickels.  Why should we have to be cold, just because you're inconsiderate?

(Sparked by a message board conversation.)  Have you ever lied to someone when you told them they were good in bed?  (Faking orgasms counts, ladies, same thing, really.)  I would prefer that people just not say anything than to lie to me...  especially about something as intimate as that.

The idea of "Random Acts of Kindness" ruined the spirit of manners and etiquette.  When the guy stood up and moved to a different seat this morning so that a mother could sit with her child, no one should have been surprised, but everyone was.  It was a gentlemanly gesture, I guess, but when did it become something to be labeled and commented upon?  I attribute this praising and expectation thereof (not by the guy above, just in general) to the overall dilapidation of society in general.

I'm done.  I'm going to practice my guitar.  It's much harder to play the guitar when I'm not allowed to sing at the same time :)

~FG };^>

... in ways I wasn't expecting.

I'm going back to the studio on Saturday.  It's planned as a three-hour session where I intend to rerecord the vocals on Think About Me and to lay down three more tracks.  This means that Breathe and Happily Ever After are going to be coming down, so if you want to download them, do it soon, before I replace them with the new stuff (for now, I'm sure I'll rotate the songs that are up there as I develop favorites).  The three next songs will round out the first three nicely, I believe these to be my very best.

Once I have all six tracks set I'm going to press a bunch of CDs, make some nice labels and give them out as holiday gifts   (So if you want one, and you don't already know you're getting one, let me know and I'll make sure you do...)

I decided that I am taking this entire month off from performing.  I lost my motivation several weeks ago, right after starting the recording process, so I'm taking the rest of the calendar year off to focus on the recording aspect and practicing.  Come January, though, I'm back to the open mics, and I'm going to make a real effort to improve my performing.

And just in time.  I signed up for MySpace Music so that I would have an easily accessible place that will hold a good bit of music and it's been great to have that available to people.  I also know a lot of musicians who use that for networking, so I might as well work that aspect of things.

This morning I woke up to an Add Friend request from someone I've known for many years.  He and I are both alums of the Albany Free School and he now works for AERO (the Alternative Education Resource Organization).  They have a conference every year, recently (for several years) at Russell Sage College in Troy, NY.  I added him as a friend (since he *is* a friend of mine ) and noticed that he had sent me mail asking me if I'd be interested in performing at the 2006 AERO Conference.  Well of course I would!

It was a really nice way to start my day.  It also serves as a much needed kick in the ass to throw myself back into my music the way I was a couple of months ago.  I love the happy curves that life throws you.  The unexpected is so often a wonderful thing.

~FG };^>

Today was Narnia, again at the Spectrum, which is my theater of choice all the time.  I was really impressed.  They stayed true to the book and conveyed so much more than I could have hoped for.  If you go see it, watch the White Witch's crown...  it's the subtleties that really *make* any movie for me.  And lemme just say, "HOLY CRAP, DUDE!  The summer is over and they are still on fire!"  Amazing.  I love phoenixes...  go figure ;-)

Earlier this week it was MirrorMask which was ~*brilliant*~.  Of course, I expect nothing less from the collaborative efforts of Neil Gaiman and Dave McKean.  I took the Spawn and my little bro, both of whom were wowed by the brilliance of these two amazing men.  Spawn, of course, has been reading the children's books these two have written/illustrated, though my little bro hasn't really had much of an opportunity to be exposed to them.  Being 15, I think he might be old enough to be exposed to the Sandman series...  if not now, then soon.  I can't wait!  Hee!

Also on my recently seen list is Pride and Prejudice which I went to see because, well, let's be honest, I am a movie whore.  Princess was concerned that no one would go see it with her, except out of obligation, until she remembered that I will see just about any movie there is, and willingly.  I didn't have high expectations, but I thought the movie was brilliant.  It was over 2 hours long, but it didn't drag at all.  I know there are a lot of guys out there who probably think it's a chick flick, but if you get dragged out there, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. 

We also saw Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.  I wasn't nearly as disappointed as many I've heard.  There are a lot of purists who just can't deal with any changes being made from the original.  *shrug*  Whatever.  I know that J. K. Rowling has extreme veto power and approves all changes to her storyline.  My thinking is, if she doesn't mind, who the hell are you to?  Seriously.  *whine* There was no S.P.E.W.  Malfoy didn't have enough lines.  Dumbledore was out of character.  SUCK IT UP.  She's the one who ultimately let that stuff go, but you know better?  Whatever, I don't want to hear it.  Personally, I liked the movie, and when it comes out on DVD, it will wind up in my collection alongside the others.

I think I'm missing something, possibly several somethings that I've seen recently and this doesn't even begin to touch on the Netflix movies or the pirated movies or the ones people have loaned to me.  Those are innumerable...  and many unmemorable.

I looked at the Spectrum's coming attractions and I think my heart is breaking a little bit that I won't have much opportunity to take the Spawn to new movies there for a while.  However, there are some mainstream movies coming out that look decent that I know he wants to see, so we'll go for the local divey theater unless someone (I'm looking at you, Princess) decides to drag me, kicking and screaming to that mass of consumeristic concrete and HELL that they like to call the mall.

Wow...  I really didn't realize how many movies I've seen recently...  and this just goes back a couple weeks.  It's true.  I *am* a movie whore.  LOL.  Oh well, I can think of worse things to be.

~FG };^>

When I got into work this morning, one of my coworkers told me that there was a woman working with her who read palms.  This was rather exciting for me, since I've always been drawn to the occult, so I made my way, as soon as I had some free time, down there to meet up with this girl.

First off, let me say, I'm highly surprised that I hadn't met her before today and am saddened that she won't be around too much longer.

This woman really knew her stuff.  I've had my palm read before on several occassions, but never before by someone who really knew what they were doing.  Frauds and charletains abound in the arena of psychic activity.  She does not fall into either of those categories.

So I sat there while a friend of mine observed.  My friend was astounded and kept saying that what she knows of my early life tied in directly with the stuff the palm reader was telling me.  There was a significant amount of truth in her findings, which isn't surprising to me, since I am a believer in magick and occult things.

I think it would be a little too personal for me to list off the things that I was told...  I didn't mind my friend being there and I wouldn't have minded anyone else witnessing it, but to sit here and list off all the things she told me...  all the truths she listed about about what my life has been up to now is just...  I don't know...  too close to home.  Some of you, I'm sure, will hear it in oral conversation and anyone who actually asks is welcome to hear what she said, but texting it isn't something that feels right to me, at least not at this time.

She gave me truth, but outside of that truth, surrounding it and crossing it, she gave me hope.  I think that her timelines were a little off in certain aspects and I probably have some difficult roads ahead of me, but I can see the benefits to come.  Not the specifics of them, but let's call it the light at the end of the tunnel...  or possibly between tunnels.

You see, I've had a very hard life.  For every story I share, there are several that I don't.  For every story that I don't share, there are stories I have forgotten, or, more accurately, blocked out of my mind.  Please don't think that I'm complaining.  I'm not.  All of the trials and tribulations have served to make me who I am and to give me the outlook I have on life.  Every experience, for bad or good, has brought me to where I am today, and even when I'm down or downright depressed, overall I have lived a rich life...  does that mean it was smooth sailing?  By no means.  But the troubles and strife have fed my creativity and caused me to really take the time to not just get to know myself, but see things from the perspective of others - some of whom are (or have been) worse off than me, some of whom are better off.

I've thought a lot lately about how I would never give up any of my experiences to have it be easier overall.  I wouldn't change anything about even the difficult times because of where it's led me.  The people I've met and the things I've done lead to excellent stories, most of which are highly entertaining.  I would rather really LIVE and have stories to tell than to coast through life and wind up at a ripe old age wondering where all the time went.

I have earned every single one of my 30 years.  I have, with one exception, made sure that all of my years have been filled with interesting happenings and people.  My parents started this trend and I have continued it, to the best of my abilities.  I do live in interesting times, and when I don't, I make them interesting.

The nutshell of the reading is that I am coming out of one difficult overall time, one that has been lingering for a while and hits me on several fronts.  I'm about to enter into another that will probably only affect one aspect of my life.  I am healthy and (with minor expections) should remain so, with a long and rich life in front of me.  It appears that I am about to find that the rest of my life (or at least the next significant portion) is much smoother sailing than this first part has been.

I have never been more ready for this.  I almost feel like she told me that I've now paid my dues.

I can't even begin to tell you how much of a relief that is.

I only hope I can remember to come back and check this in 6 months time to see if I can see the benefits and rewards that she tells me are coming.

~FG };^>

...but the funny part is that I'm still mostly smiling my way through it.

Monday I fell in front of the bus, but the rest of the day was good.  I didn't really sleep that night and Tuesday I was just barely functioning on 1.5 hours of sleep.  On the way into work, the bus broke down, so I was late and then Tuesday night I got home on the late side.  I forgot that I had promised to watch the child of Chaos (who's not even 2 yet) for the evening until I was more than halfway home and the Spawn was whiny and bitchy right up until the baby got there.  She was quite full of herself, too...  as was the Spawn, who I have had every day this week. 

I did it again!  I wrote a significant amount and didn't save the draft.  I did something unintentional and wound up erasing the entire thing.

Being a believer in all things having their reasons, I can only assume that I was not supposed to write the post I was intending to make.  Furthering this is the internal struggle that I have when it comes to discussing other people's religion in what could possibly become a confrontational entry, though I think I'm aware enough of that to not actually let it happen...  just a slight concern of mine.

So, having lost everything that I had started to say, and since I was struggling with putting my thoughts in order anyway, I feel left with only one thing to say:

... and I owe her the public confession of that.

That is all.

No comments :-P

~FG };^>

I am seriously the clumsiest person I know.  I fell in front of a (NOT MOVING) bus first thing this morning.  Scraped the hell out of my leg.  Turned bright red (from embarrassment).  Thank gods it was so early in the morning that there was not really anyone around *to* see me.  Good grief.  Stupid winter...  stupid snow...  stupid cute shoes...  stupid me...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Skyscraper to cause earthquakes.  I don't know what to make of this.  It's interesting, to say the least...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Alan Moore's Watchmen, originally published in 1986, was the comic-book series that supposedly revolutionized the industry, defrocked the superhero, and invented the graphic novel at a stroke. Yet reading Watchmen today is a distinctly underwhelming experience. Its fans would say that is appropriate: The world's first anti-heroic comic book is supposed to be, well, anti-heroic. The mode is pyrrhic, deflationary, its tone deadpan, spent. Either way, like a math savant at a party, the book seems to shrink from the hullabaloo surrounding its approaching 20^th anniversary. A new edition, retitled Absolute Watchmen and published this month by DC, has drawn critical superlatives and comparisons with Pulp Fiction and Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. In truth, it's more like the White Album, a fractious, blitzed masterwork. This is not a comic book that wants you to go "Wow." It is a comic book that wants to let the air out of your tires.

Whether you take this self-reflexivity as evidence of a newfound sophistication on behalf of the comic book, or as self-hatred tricked out as superiority—that old adolescent standby—is up to you. Watchmen was unquestionably a landmark work, a masterpiece, even. Before Moore came along, comic books were not generally in the habit of quoting Nietzsche, or scrambling their time schemes, or berating their heroes for their crypto-fascist politics, or their readers for reading them. It was Moore's slightly self-negating triumph to have allowed it to do so. But did the comic book have to "grow up"? The last time I looked, the only ones reading Ulysses and quoting Nietzsche were teenagers. No adult has time for aesthetic "difficulty" or "self-consciousness." Life is too short. Frankly, we'd much rather be watching The Incredibles.

It is amazing how quickly one can go from completely down to ~just fine~ overnight.  It's been a little too long since I partied like a rock and roller...  and this one was just what the doctor ordered.

I like being told that I'm good at things that some women tend to struggle with, and I like being told without words even better.  I like being able to surprise someone, and maybe give them a little something they didn't know before.

"I had three beers, three car bombs, a cranberry and vodka... and then we went to the bar."  It sent the girls into gales of laughter, for me it was just a statement of fact.

I am a sucker for just about any guy who will catch a blown kiss and put it away for later, hold it to his cheek, heart or lips, or in any way play up the silliness inherent in blowing kisses :)

I really liked that hat.  I wanted to keep it.  My hat is still lost, I miss it more now than before.

I ran into two of my oldest friends today, completely out of the blue.  In two weeks I am going to see one of them in a play - I am going with the other :)  Gotta love those random encounters that lead to invitations.

This entire weekend has been rather unusual.  I kinda hope that keeps up.

~FG };^>

What is a kiss, really?  Is it the brushing of lips upon each other or is it something more, something deeper, something that happens on an emotional level with the assistance of a physical moment?

I was standing outside with a friend of mine earlier today.  He reached out and brushed something from my forehead, which fell to my nose.  Then he reached out and brushed it from my nose...  it was completely innocent, and yet, I felt kissed.

Now, I should take a moment to make this perfectly clear.  There was no kiss.  There wasn't even anything close to an actual kiss.  The entire encounter was 100% appropriate, with no sexual tension or anything.

And yet...

It makes me wonder what happened in that moment.  Was there some sort of random spark that popped up?  It's not like that's happened before.  I can't honestly say that I've often felt kissed when no kiss occured, and I can honestly say that I've never felt kissed in as platonic a situation as that was.