Ah, New Year's Eve...  The ultimate party night all over the world.  The cool thing that I learned today is that tonight will be one second longer than most other days.  That means a whole extra second of partying *wink*

A slightly longer year...  a slightly longer New Year's Eve than we usually get overall. 

So for all you trivia hounds that means that December 31, 2005 is 86401 seconds long.

Not that anyone's going to remember.  I mean, it's not like it's an intuitive number in any way...

~FG };^>

ARGH!  It can be really frustrating sometimes, playing poker online.  I've gotten pretty good and, in tournaments, it doesn't take me too long to get the read of the table.  I get to a point where I can tell which people are bluffing and when the other players actually have something worth fearing.

The problem is the idiots who simply do not understand the overall concept of poker.  The aggression of "Well I don't know what I'm doing, so I'll just go all in" is something that gets to everyone eventually.  The last 2 online tournaments I played in are prime examples of this.

The first one was yesterday, and I did pretty well.  Out of 800 people, I wound up 82nd.  For me, this is very good.  We started off ignoring the idiot who went all in over and over again.  Once called on his BS antics, he turned into the world-class expert on poker.  In-your-face and trying to "prove" somehow, that he's better than he had indicated to us.  Toward the end, though, I wound up the victim of a woman who CLEARLY did not know what she was doing, but got lucky enough times to have a decent-sized stack.  I took her for a lot of her chips, but was defeated in the end.

Today, though, I forgot about the "rules".  You know, to ignore the people who push and push and push with absolutely nothing in their hands.  I was out in the very beginning of the game because of my own failing to take the time to wait out those who jump the gun idiotically.

I have to admit, I much prefer playing poker with actual people, as opposed to imaginary friends.  First off, it's more social and fun and interested, but it's also partially that people who play with others face-to-face seem to have a better sense of decorum.  It's not about being the biggest asshole, it's about enjoying the game and maybe, just maybe, coming home ahead.

But, damn, this online thing sure can be frustrating.  I may have to create a printed list of rules for myself so I don't forget next time...

~FG };^>

If you read my early piece or had the conversation with me, you already know my conceptual feelings on robots, in general.  That is to say, when I think about the concept of robots and the sci-fi future possibilities, you get what I wrote in my earlier piece.  The reality of robots, though, it fascinates me.  I really enjoy watching the progression and I think it's incredibly cool some of the things they can make robots do these days.

So without thought of the future, I bring you Wired Magazine's The 50 Best Robots Ever.  I'm not going to bring you the whole thing (which, to me, is rather anti-climactic), but I found these kind of obscure, but fascinating historical moments.

I've read about him before:

33. THE TURK
Step right up and marvel at the mechanical device that can beat you in chess. Not impressed? You would be if it were 1769. The contraption was a hoax (inventor Wolfgang von Kempelen stashed a human chess master inside), but it sparked early debates over what it means for a machine to think.

This just cracked me up:

29. VAUCANSON'S DUCK
Back in 1739, Jacques de Vaucanson wanted to create artificial life. He settled for a mechanical duck that pooped. The machine used a weight system to quack, flap its wings, drink water, and eat grain, which it would digest mechanically and expel through an opening in its backside.

Leave it to da Vinci to create the first robot:

07. THE MECHANICAL KNIGHT
Way back in 1495, Leonardo da Vinci designed what was probably the first robot - an automated suit of armor with a windup crank. It could sit up, wave its hands, and maybe even talk. Five hundred years later, engineer Mark Rosheim used the master's schematics to build a working miniaturized version.

Those are the ones that really struck me as unique, but I also really enjoyed seeing the pop culture listings on there.  I think this is one article that's better in print, though, because each entry has a picture attached to it, instead of having to go look them up separately.

Now I want to see a list of the top 50 (or 100) most influential robots of all time.  That would be cool.

~FG };^>

Day one was a roller coaster.  Emotion after emotion until I was done.  This was the part where I tried to get as much information as I could and put together the reasonings.  I think I know as much as I'm going to about that.

There's nothing I can do about it, and I didn't lose my job for anything that I did or didn't do.  I just happened to be the one in the place to be affected by it.  Not that that makes it any better, but there is certainly some measure of comfort in knowing that things were wholly out of my control.

So we move on.  This gives me the opportunity to take care of things that were maybe falling by the wayside.  My house is going to be spotless, I'll actually have the time to focus on my guitar again.  I can get all the CDs packaged up and shipped out to those who I don't get to hand a copy to.  My cats will welcome the attention and, who knows, maybe I'll start walking the Spawn home from school again.

One phone call I made left me pretty hopeful.  I can't count on anything for a while, but it was nice to hear that someone who can help, someone who is highly respected by people _I_ respect, thinks that he can probably get me working again by the end of January.

In the meantime, I will paint, which interestingly enough is something that comes up every single time I lose a job.  My mom calls and says "I have a painting job, want to help?"  I always do, too.  I love to paint.  There's something very Zen and therapeutic about it.  And it's always progress you can see - you can measure it as you go.

I guess as long as I can keep myself busy, the waiting period should fly right by.  I'm not overly worried about the money...  I'll be ok, as long as I'm working relatively soon, it's more about keeping occupied and making myself leave the house. 

All things happen for a reason.  Usually that reason doesn't become clear until the trial is over and you can look at it from the outside.  I'm ok with not knowing the reason *right now*, but I am looking forward to seeing what this new situation is going to bring.

~FG };^>

"You don't work here anymore.  Go home."

So, yeah...

Everyone knows someone like this.  People who just don't get sick.  And, for the most part, everyone hates them.  lol

They are called liars sometimes because everyone gets sick sometimes.  But it's true, there are some people who, for the most part, just do not get sick.  The viruses make their rounds...  the entire office gets the flu except for those couple of people who simply do not get sick.

Except when they do.

And that's the real problem, right there.  Because everyone gets sick from time to time, even the people who generally don't.

I am one of those "I don't get sick" people.  So is my brother and, as I learned last week, my step-brother.  We were discussing how hard it is because on those rare occasions, it just knocks us the fuck out.  We just don't know how to handle it.  It's like people who don't get hangovers...  when they get their first one, they think they're dying, they don't know what is going on.  There's no basis for understanding.

When people who don't get sick, do, it's probably no worse than it is, physically, for people who are accustomed to being sick, but on a mental/emotional level it's really difficult.  An abnormally healthy body cannot comprehend the idea of taking it easy or not exerting itself.  How can I not eat [fill in favorite food]?  I never had a problem with *oops...  run to bathroom*.

I usually get sick maybe once a year, sometimes twice.  I forget, too, every time, how horrible the overall feeling is, and when I get sick it knocks me out.  I have no concept of taking it easy for however long after I start to feel better, so it lingers.  This whole thing started on Wednesday morning.  Friday I was back at work.  Friday night I was back in bed, miserable.  Sunday I felt GREAT, everyone who saw me sick said I looked worlds better...  Sunday night I was back where I was on Friday night/Saturday morning.  (I spare you the graphic details.  Thank me later.)

Conceptually, I understand this whole sick/healthy thing, but in practice it doesn't make sense.  When my body wants to get up and go again, why doesn't that work out?  Shouldn't this have already run it's course?

This whole thing sucks.  I don't understand it, I just want it to go away.  You see, it all comes down to one single factor that doesn't seem to apply in this situation.

I don't get sick.  This isn't supposed to happen to *me*.

~FG };^/

Which is part of why, I suppose, I tend to prefer lowered expectations over heightened ones.  I wasn't looking forward to today much at all...  partly because I was sick and miserable. 

I had a really nice day.  I had a really nice time.  I had a really nice dinner.  I'm not sick anymore.

I feel like I scored a minor victory for a battle I had decided not to fight.  The Spawn was so well-behaved that it was commented upon by everyone, and in a happily surprised way.  It was calm and relaxed and together and there was no tension.  The Child of Chaos was a joy to be around - the entire time.

It was a nice day.  It's going to be a nice night.  I expected less, but I couldn't have asked for more.

~FG };^>

It's almost over.  Thank gods it's almost over!  The final round - round three - will begin tomorrow morning/afternoon as we journey to the extended branch of the family tree.  I'm not looking forward to this.

First off, I've been really sick for the past 4 days.  I thought I was better and went into work on Friday, but 4am Saturday served to explain to me that I was not, in fact, all right.  I've been battling a fever and chills on and off and seem to be ok with minty teas, ginger ale and dry anything (saltines, unbuttered popcorn, that sort of thing).  Not that you really want to know about this, but I'm keeping it as far from graphic as I can.

I'm very disappointed.  I bought three six packs of winter-themed beer specifically for the holiday week.  I bought the Winter Solstice Seasonal Ale specifically to enjoy on Solstice, but the sheer amount of alcohol (me, with the mead, Dragonmaker with the wines) meant that I took home the six-pack untouched.  Having gotten sick right after means I haven't even touched the stuff.  Although, I did take a small sip off my dad's this evening (way to feel like a little kid again) and this is certainly going to be a review-worthy beer as far as I can tell.

The shopping is all done.  The Spawn has been read the riot act about *not* revisiting the behaviors of the past several holidays (not just Christmas, I'm talking birthdays, Thanksgivings, you name it), I have a flask which I may just risk filling with Bailey's to spike my coffee and take the edge off.  Can you tell I'm not really looking forward to any of this?

I just want it all over.  Christmas isn't really my thing, anyway and the real celebrations within my immediate family is already over.  I just want to curl up in a blanket and sip hot tea and munch on my crackers while I'm sick.  I don't want to play nice and make merry when I'd rather just be home, wallowing.

New Year's, though...  now that's my kind of celebration.  That's my kind of holiday.  I can't wait for that one.  All things considered, I don't mind being sick now if it means I can party all night next week.  I still have to make good plans for this year...  but first I have to get better.

Christmas isn't really helping the whole healing process.

~FG };^>

No, it's not a joke, but it should be, right?  Maybe it is and I'm just waiting on the punchline.  I've been waiting for a while, though.  I always found it funny when we would have Girl's Nights Out several years ago and that would be our group of girls, walking into a bar.  Rarely did the conversations (in the bars) center around religion, but sometimes, the conversations outside of the bars would.

I find myself thinking back to Princess (Jewish) and Jizzie (Catholic) getting into HEATED debates in email threads cc'd to me and Moonstone (both Pagans).  It was usually up to the two of us Pagans to run interference and calm things down.  Most especially when The Passion of the Christ was (about to be) released.  Factor in the Jew as a Yankees fan and the Catholic as a Red Sox fan and you can see how the fun would ensue.

All kidding aside, it always struck me that we should have a punchline, the four of us...  or even any combination of three, but we never got a good one, at least not in our adventures together.  Honestly, the heated debates were few and far between, since, for the most part, there wasn't much to argue about.  We all respected each others beliefs, even if we didn't understand them.

Every year I wish Princess a Happy Hanukkah, and she wishes me a Happy Solstice.  Moonstone gets a Happy Yule and Jizzie gets a Merry Christmas.  The words, you see, simply do not matter, at least they never did to us.  Not that we're the group we once were, with people going their separate ways and all, but it's a lesson that I hope my son will take with him as he grows.

It doesn't matter what you celebrate, it doesn't matter what you call it, it's all a time for love and family, for celebration of life and one more year past.  If there are religious connotations as well, there's nothing wrong with that, it's a time for celebrating personal joys, regardless of how they are categorized.

So a Jew, a Catholic and two Pagans walk into a bar.  Is there a punchline?  Does there have to be?

~FG };^>

Today is the shortest day of the year.  Since June the days have been getting shorter and shorter, most noticeably since September/October.  From here on out, the days will get longer and the nights shorter.  Winter has begun.

My family celebrates the return of the sun.  We celebrate the lessening darkness as the days become longer, and believe me, I cannot wait for the sun to become a little more visible, overall.

A lot of people ask me to define my beliefs for them, especially around this time of year.  I have stopped doing that because I've been berated far too many times.  Innumerable people have told me that I'm going to Hell because I choose to believe things that they simply don't understand.  I don't discuss my religion with very many people anymore.

So you want to know what we do?  You want to know what we believe?  It's not much different from the traditional Christian beliefs, many of which were initially borrowed from the pagans in order to strengthen early Christianity.  These days people accept the traditions of Christmas and often embrace them whether they actually believe in the religion of their youth or not.  My family tries to reclaim the pagan celebrations.

Feasting, gift exchange, candles and lights to entice the return of the sun - these are all pieces of the festivities.  We don't subscribe to Santa Claus or reindeer or any of that.  Saints are not so much a part of our celebration.  We sing and play music and play games and spend our time together.  There's no bloody rituals, there's no dancing naked in the snow, we are not much different from those who celebrate Christmas, but none of us can bring ourselves to celebrate a holiday for a God we do not worship.

We did our research.  We found the roots.  What appears to some to only be, several days early, a "stolen" Christmas celebration, is actually on time, a reclaimed one.  One that history has pushed aside, one that has gotten me into more theological and historical arguments than I could possibly count.

So I spend Solstice day wrapped in a blanket, alternating a fever and chills, hoping that I'll be able to eat (and keep down) whatever dinner I make for the kid.  I don't think much about the difference between what I do and what others do.  We all celebrate in our own way.  At the root of it all, aren't we all just celebrating love and family and togetherness?  Taking joy in our happiness and being together, making sure that everyone we love knows that we love them?

That's what I think, anyway.  It shouldn't matter what holiday you choose or even the reasons that you choose it.  It all comes back to the same sentiment at about the same time of year.

Whatever happened to Peace on Earth and Goodwill Toward Man, anyway?  It seems like the holidays just make everyone angry these days.  There's too much to fight about, whether it's religion or semantics or what side dishes are being served.  I'm not angry, I'm just sick.  I'm not going to be angry about this stuff this year, I just want them to end so we can move on into the next year...  I'm not feeling very holiday-ish this year...

~FG };^>